joy and a time for change...

I went to church today for the first time in about a month and a half and can i just say WOW! I didnt realize how good the gospel felt until I started to miss it. The funniest thing happened last week. I got a call from the bishop and I thought I was being released from my calling as Relief Society Secretary because I hadn't been attending church and we were getting a new presidency since Isabel got married this weekend. Come to find out, they actually wanted me to stay and come back to church...and not release me. I gladly reaccepted the calling and I'm so stoked to be serving in the relief society alongside three really awesome girls! We had a meeting this morning to throw out ideas and let me just say I am STOKED for the things to come our way! We really would like to work with the Elder's Quorum and help make our Relief Society and Ward a more unified place to be where everyone feels like they belong. This calling is just what I've been needing. Even though I didn't realize it until today, Heavenly Father never stopped looking out for me even when I was making unwise decisions and I felt my testimony begin to crumble. I will be truthful, lately I've had a lot of doubts and at times I didn't want anything to do with the church but deep in my heart I know without the gospel I'm not as happy as I could be. The world has a lot to offer us to make us happy but it's only temporary. Only LASTING happiness comes from the joy that only the gospel can offer us. Joy and happiness are in a way completely different from one another. Happiness to me can be a fleeting moment of an elevated mood...when something good happens you feel happy but that feeling often wears off rather quickly. Joy is more of a feeling of satisfaction that lasts no matter what life throws at you. When you know who you are, where you came from, and where you are going *in a spiritual sense* and you truly believe in it, joy is something much easier to come by.

Now is the time for you, me, and everyone to make changes in their lives. It's your shot to call WHEN you'll make the changes but as for me, this is my time for change. I really long to have the testimony I had three years ago. It was a simple testimony but it was so strong and no one could tell me anything different. I almost feel like I'm starting over but that's okay...as long as I'm starting. Everything has a starting point...right?

Something else I've been thinking about the last couple of days is the human tendency to worry. I speak for myself when I say these things but I'm sure a lot of us can relate to this more than we would like to admit. I spent so much time in my life worrying about everything...worrying about things that are happening, may happen, may NOT happen, or did happen. My mom always tells me that if something has a solution, not to worry about it. And if it doesn't have a solution, then dont worry about that either because it's beyond your control and then you just have to accept whatever it is. My own epiphany this week was that I shouldn't worry about the future. A lot of the time I find myself stressing about things that might never even happen and usually dont. Just enjoy life for the moment you're living it in. Make the most of it because once the moment passes you can't go back and live it again. So cheesy. So cliche. So true.

These are my random musings for now. I hope if anyone reads this, they gained something from it.